What Do You Call A Bunch of Lawyers at the Bottom of the Ocean?

A good start.

But seriously folks, I've been considering suing the city for what happened to my face.

I know, gorgeous aren't I? Luckily I only looked like that for a week. I'm pretty much back to normal, except now I look like I had a fight with a tanning lamp and it won.

Back to finding a lawyer, I called up The Cochrane Firm. I got there a little early since I am perpetually on time. They saw me 20 minutes late in my 60 minute lunch hour. I was already irritated. Then this perfect fucking nobody bitch seats me in a conference room and starts launching questions at me without even so much as bothering to introduce herself.

Even more annoying, many of the questions she posed were asked by her colleague the night before. She then asked me if I were in school. I replied that no, I was 31, to which she rudely responded, "Just because you're 31, doesn't mean your not in school." I told her I had heard enough at that point and left.

Turns out she was only some dumb assistant, OBVI.

$@bs